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Oh God, he’s back. Like the demented Tooth Fairy, the rabid Easter Bunny, or the grandiose Great Pumpkin, the Old Saint Nick of Nutcases is ready to tour again with his all-new holiday comedy show from hell. But John Waters doesn’t need any enslaved reindeer or un-unionized elves, not even a non-binary Mrs. Claus. No sirree, he can spread his sticks-and-stones humor all by himself to the bad little boys and girls and thems who have been haughty and anything-but-nice all year.
And wait ’til you see what’s inside his bag of Christmas-Evil presents. Celebrity blow-up dolls. New yuletide diseases with booster shots that actually get you high. Kindergarten detention drag shows in Florida. Even gift certificates to the Dark Web for your parents.
O come all ye faithful indeed. We’ll be docking around the Christmas tree, fisting the turkey with stuﬃng, and snowballing under the mistletoe. It’s a John Water’s Christmas, and that’s a miracle. The filthiest people alive get down on their knees to celebrate.